Wednesday, February 22, 2012
“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.” Is. 43:25
Does anyone else find this extremely comforting? The Lord of Heaven and Earth, who created everything, has chosen to forget the sins we commit, when we confess and repent of them. That almost leaves me speechless. I cannot express how that makes me feel, but gratitude is only the beginning.
My past is less than perfect. A history of abuse led me to make some poor choices that I know now were an understandable reaction to what happened to me as a child. For years, I carried around that guilt. Not the guilt of the abuse. I knew that wasn’t my fault. But my choices afterwards- I made them. I had to own them. Many of those decisions were the “lesser of two evils” so to speak, but I still chose to make them.
Last night, I had an epiphany. An “aha” moment, if you will. Honestly, it was more of a “DUH” moment, but it was so much more than that. I realized I’m forgiven. My past is erased. I no longer need to carry around the guilt and shame of the bad things that have happened to me or the choices I have made. I realized that God is bigger than my past. And His love covers it all.
Don’t think for a minute that it “just so happened” that last night was the night He chose to deliver me from all that pain. God planned it to happen through a friend of mine who gave me a life-changing book. Praying God’s Word by Beth Moore. Something special happens when you pray to God using the Scripture. I can’t describe it. But if you haven’t read that book, I urge you to get it and use it as part of your devotional time.
I have been a Christian for many years. In my head, I knew Jesus had saved me. I knew God had forgiven me for my sins. But honestly, I didn’t really know it. And what is worse- I didn’t know that I didn’t know it until last night. Then, bam! It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I knew from the time I was saved at 13 that all my sins were wiped away by Jesus dying on the cross and rising again. But I guess I never really gave some experiences up to God. I hung onto them, for one reason or another. They had a stronghold on me that spilled into my marriage, my parenting, and my life. Not anymore.
I made the conscious decision to live like I believe what I know is true. I am no longer guilty of those transgressions. I have been forgiven and I don’t need to carry them around anymore. God has forgotten them. I don’t know if I ever will truly forget them, but I can choose not to let them control me. It might be a conscious decision I have to make every day- but I would rather make the choice every morning, fully knowing that the only reason I have peace is through the grace and mercy of a Father who loves me. He LOVES me. The Master of the Universe. The One who keeps the world in balance and knows the stars by name. He is so much more than that. I am His daughter. He is my Father. He loves me.
And He loves you too.